


Forever ☁️

by MayaSharleez



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Birth, F/M, Family, Fluff, M/M, Mpreg, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:41:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24301513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayaSharleez/pseuds/MayaSharleez
Summary: Sehun and Kai were friends since they were young. One from a rich family and the other from a poor family. Their relationship jumped from best friends to lovers. However, due to the conservative society they were raised in, they kept it a secret. It was peaceful and thrilling while nobody knew they were dating, up until...
Relationships: EXO Ensemble/EXO Ensemble
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was first posted on Asianfanfic when I barely knew how to write a proper story, but I want it to reach to more people so here I am with the updated version. Happy reading ^^

Sehun and Kai grew up together since their parents were friends. Eventhough it was like that, their family background were completely different. Kai was born in a well-off family. He never felt the toughness of life. He got everything that he wanted no matter how expensive that thing was considering he was the only child in his family of three.   
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For Sehun, growing up, having to help his father making knives and to help his mother selling fruits and pastries were a normal thing to do. He was even in charge on tutoring his younger siblings. But god blessed him with an intelligent brain so he was able to help his brothers and sister without too much difficulty.   
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Woozi, 18 years old, despite being not so tall, he was very matured and a very obedient child. He listened to Sehun well whenever his brother was teaching him.   
.  
Vernon, 15 years old, was a very hyperactive child. He couldn't stay still for longer than ten minutes. You would always see him doing something. That was why instead of studying, he enjoyed it more when he got to help his parents earning money for the family. He was always scolded because of his lack of interest on studying but he would always smile and said, 'Studying is not the only way to be successful in life.'  
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Yuju, 5 years old, was the cutest little girl her elder brothers had ever seen in their whole years of living in this world. She was the happy virus in the family. Everytime her family members were frowning and being sad whether it was because of their shortage of money or because of her brothers unsatisfactory exam results, she would say, 'It will be alright' a few so many times with her cute little voice, chubby cheeks moving and her hands patting any one of her family. She never make it harder for her family with their life's situation. In fact, she would always offer to give a massage whenever she saw her family member looking tired from a long day.  
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Sehun was grateful and happy to have such a happy family eventhough they have to work their asses off to earn money to eat.  
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For Kai, despite living such an easy life and having such an endless love being poured onto him by his parents, he couldn't help but feeling lonely without any sibling to spend time with. So, to get rid of the lonely feeling, he would invite Sehun and his siblings to his house or he would be the one to go to their house. Since Sehun's house was small, there wasn't enough space for him. So, most of the time, he, Sehun, Woozi and Vernon would sleep at the house's veranda that was made out of cement. It was cold and chilly. They always used that moment to catch up on each other's life and talk about their interest. They would talk for hours until they end up falling asleep at around two or three in the morning before waking up at six in the morning for school. They clearly weren't getting enough sleep.  
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Sehun and Kai went to the same high school but when they were about to continue their study in a university, Sehun knew that they will have to stay apart from each other since Kai's parents would surely send their son to an excellent university. That kind of university would surely cost so much money. Sehun didn't have that much of money so he studied hard, very hard to get into a good university even if it wouldn't be the same as Kai's.   
.  
But surprisingly, Kai's parents loved Sehun as much as they did with their own son, that they had offered to pay for Sehun's studies expenses so that he could go and study with Kai. At first, Sehun and his family rejected the offer saying it was too much and there was no way they would be able to pay it all back if they had to. But Mr. and Mrs. Kim were persistent. _Very_ persistent. In the end, they gave up and accepted the offer with thousands of 'Thank You' coming out of their mouth. Kai's parents were happy to be sending Sehun to America with Kai since they were hoping for Sehun to keep his eyes on Kai. Kai was a genius but he didn't like studying and loved to have fun. 

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Sehun hugged Mr. Kim as tightly as he could for a few long seconds, showing how thankful he actually was and promised the older man to do well on studying. Mr. Kim jokingly replied, "You better do son", and patted Sehun's back before pulling before Sehun released the hug.

.  
And so, after so much tears from their parents, endless "Oppa, stay", from Yuju to Sehun, and "Bring me along with you guys!" from Vernon, Sehun and Kai boarded the flight to America to continue their study. That too, after Mrs. Oh succesfully pulled Yuju from hugging Sehun's leg like she had been glued to her oppa's leg using the best glue in the world.

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At the university, they made some new friends, namely Ren, Mark, Hoseok and Daehyun. Sehun and Ren took biology courses while Kai and the others took computer engineering. Their buildings were far from each other's. It would take around thirty minutes to go from Sehun's class to Kai's. The only time they could meet was at their hostel which was in the middle of the university compound.

.

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Nobody knew this, but Sehun and Kai had been lovers ever since they were in high school. They made sure to keep it a secret since they thought their parents would not support their homosexual relationship that was so called 'not normal' in society where relationship between men and women are the convention and considered acceptable. Although both genders were able to go through child bearing, most families repulsed the concept of male and male creating a life together. Sehun and Kai feared that if their family were to know, they would forbid them from staying in touch with each other at all, or worse, not letting them meet, _ever again_. Due to this reason as well, none of their friends knew.

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	2. Chapter 2

Kai was the one who started it all. Sehun could never forget that moment when they were sitting on the grass at the school field, not wanting to go home yet. They were both laughing while hugging their knees, eyes looking in front of them, after talking about how Siwon pulled down Donghae's trousers in front of the class and ended up with Donghae yelling to kill Siwon while running to catch Siwon who had already ran to save himself, when Kai suddenly confessed saying "I love you, Sehun.", Sehun was too shocked to even try to comprehend the meaning behind those words.

Kai looked at Sehun who was gulping while his eyes was still staring forward, only now rather blankly.

Sehun let out a nervous laugh and tried hard to look back at Kai. "I love you too?" Sehun said, sounding unsure. He immediately continued, beaming and yapping profusely, "Of course I love you, Kai! We have been best friends since forever!" hand slapping Kai's shoulder continuously.

Kai stopped Sehun's hand from slapping him, holding it tight in his. "No, Sehun. Not as a friend. I love you more than a friend and I think you know what I mean." he said with a serious tone.

Sehun felt like Kai's eyes were trying to pierce into his. It made his heart beat uncontrollably fast. Truth be told, Sehun had the same feeling as Kai. Heck, maybe he loved Kai even longer than Kai did, considering that ever since the first time he laid eyes on Kai, he felt this weird feeling towards the boy in front of him. That feeling, as he grew up, he recognised it as love.

Sehun pulled his hand from Kai and made an uncomfortable attempt at rearranging his position. Only then, he replied more seriously, "I know, Kai." He looked down to his navy pants.

"So?" Kai was getting a little impatient waiting for Sehun to respond to his sudden confession.

"I love you too." Sehun could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks as he confessed. When he turned his head, he could have laughed at the biggest grin on Kai's face he had ever seen ever since they started being friends if it wasn't because he was so embarrassed.

"Really?!" Kai shrieked, wanting a confirmation.

Sehun gave him a warm smile and said, "Really."

Knowing that they couldn't do anything skinship at the school field where students were everywhere around them, Kai grabbed Sehun's left hand and stood up, pulling Sehun along.

"What are you doing?" Sehun asked in bewilderment.

Kai just grinned and said, "Follow me!". Hand still holding Sehun's, he started jogging, then running, making his way toward the boys bathroom in the school hall, with Sehun following his pace behind him.

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There, in one of the stalls in the bathroom, was their first time making out. They wasn’t really doing anything, just spending more than thirty minutes of idle innocent kisses, lips to lips. While kissing Sehun, Kai made sure to repeatedly saying, "You are mine" through his loving kiss onto his new lover’s forehead, nose, cheecks, eyelids, eyebrows, lips, nails and hands. Sehun didn’t seem to be taking the sacred moment seriously when he burst into a quiet giggle. "Shut up, Sehun!" Kai let out a whispered hissed.

"It's ticklish." Sehun pursed his lips, trying to control himself from giggling again. But then Kai stopped, simply standing there, in front of Sehun, smiling to himself while taking both of Sehun's hands into his, fingers caressing the slender ones.

Sehun looked so beautiful staring at him with his angelic smile gracing his pinkish lips. "From now on, you're my boyfriend." Kai declared, feeling his heart blooming when the last word rolled off his tounge.

Could he be any happier? Sehun asked himself. Though shy from the Kai’s blatant stare into his eyes, Sehun nodded shyly. "I'm yours."

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It had been four years ever since they started to date. Now that they had reached their 20's, Kai began to mention of a particular topic.

Sex

But Sehun, always remembering their true intentions in the university kept on giving the same feedback. "We will do it after we get married." Kai would be complaining, saying would they even get to tell their parents they were dating? And went on to cry out he would die a virgin. Sehun laughed at that, but deep inside, he felt sad. There was sorrow in his heart. Would they be able to tie the knot? He couldn't help but wondering about it over and over again.

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One day, Sehun, Kai, and their four close friends had a party at Kai's hostel. It wasn't a special party. Just a simple party to release some of their stress from grueling days of lectures and labs. Daehyun, notorious as the guy who loved party and singing, brought over his karaoke machine. It was the first time Sehun ever tried singing, and the experience was pleasantly satisfying. He sang for hours and only stopped because his throat was starting to parch. He sat beside Kai who was watching their friends singing with clear amusement on his face. He was amazed on how their friends were singing and dancing like they owned the world. It was funny too because their face were hilarious.

"Was it fun?" Kai asked Sehun who was sitting beside him. Sehun simply nodded while trying to find something to drink. By the time Kai looked back to their friends, Sehun found a mineral water bottle and drank a large amount from it. After quenching his thirst, closing the cap, he grimaced at the water’s weird taste.

Little did Sehun know… the water was actually alcohol.

Sehun was also oblivous to the fact that he had a very low alcohol tolerance.

He offered it to Kai and Kai accepted it without any hesitancy. Kai swigged the drink mindlessly, doubling Sehun’s intake out of boredom.

Little did they know…. that alcohol was nowhere near the general ones from the store, infamous for its strong effect once consumed. It was purposefully bought by a sly Daehyun, the person who thought it would be fun to see one or more of his unlucky friends to be conked out by it. Well, it was funny, to see Kai and Sehun looking all drunkly hilarious talking gibberish like mad people, complaining about the proffesors and confessing dramatically on how badly they missed their family, before both cried like the world had ended.

However, it was certainly a bad idea for Daehyun to tell the others to leave both Kai and Sehun and to just head back to their respective hostel.

A very bad idea indeed.

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	3. Chapter 3

Kai, who was sexually deprived by Sehun who kept on putting off having sex with him, was left alone with Sehun who was smack dab in front of him, as drunk as him, in his flat. Mind you, both weren’t aware of what they were doing. 

It started slow since Kai was too drunk to even stand up straight. He leaned over to Sehun and tried to kiss his boyfriend on the lips. Not surprisingly, Sehun let him and even reacted to it. Sehun kissed back. Kai started wanting more. His hand strayed and slipped underneath Sehun's shirt, caressing the soft spot of Sehun's body. Meanwhile, his free hand lifted Sehun's cap and tossed it to the floor. Instinctively, Sehun brought his hands to wap around Kai’s neck, letting the dominant one pushed the hem of his shirt up in a slow motion, grunting when the jacket Sehun was wearing kept the shirt in place. 

While Kai was struggling to get Sehun off his shirt, Sehun’s fingers were already working on undoing Kai's belt. Seconds later, Kai was stark naked, revealing his fully eracted manhood, thanks to Sehun alluring gesture that added to the sexual tension inside him.

Sehun stroked Kai's big size and that only made Kai shoved the clothes off Sehun faster. 

Kai was already leaking with precum when he positioned himself to push into Sehun. Thanks to the natural slick, it was easy to slip into Sehun.

Kai fucked him hard while pressing his lips against Sehun’s, smoocing sloppily. There wasn't any conversation, only their god like moans filling up the room. 

When Kai was swelling, Sehun snaked his legs to hug around Kai’s torso and as the latter was nearing his climax, without Sehun realising it, he was helping Kai making their first child easier than it was supposed to be. His tight hold pressed Kai deeper into him, before the latter eventually reached his orgasm, spilling again and again, painting white all over Sehun’s canal with Sehun writhing and convulsing from his own high beneath Kai.

Both huffing and panting, drenched with each other’s perspiration. Kai didn't pull out, but as he shifted to the side, he slowly slid out of Sehun before dropping to the floor, immediately knocked out.

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Coming into his consciousness with throbbing pain in his head, Sehun grimaced, screwing his eyes as he pushed himself up, putting some pressure to his temple in an attempt to alleviate the horrible pounding.

When he finally cracked his eyes opened, he looked around, trying to register his surrounding. A relieve overcame him to realise he was at Kai's. But immediately, he noticed something strangely not right. He felt naked from how the cold breeze from the fan hitting his skin. Venturing a glance down his body, his eyes bulged out of their sockets. He was indeed naked!

Sehun freaked out. Horror striking his whole entire being..

Having been majoring in biology made him quick to catch what sexual intercourse entails. He made another fearful attempt, feeling at his lower part, only to feel the drying texture of his impending suspicion. Kai’s seed was inside him, and Sehun felt lightheaded from the massive anxiety engulfing him right that instant. His heartbeats ran ten miles per hour. Breath leaving his lungs with coldsweat beginning to form around his head and neck.

Sehun glanced to his side and saw Kai who, similar to Sehun, had not a sliver of fabric covering him, only that the latter was slumbering deeply without a care in the world while Sehun was about to die from trepidaton.

There was only one thing on his mind right at that moment. Must-not-let-Kai-know-they-had-sex.

He tried to stand gingerly, stooping slowly to grab his clothes before pulling them on in a rush, enduring his aching lower back as he shimmied into his wornout jeans. 

Sehun grasped onto the sofa to support his woobly legs before proceeding on peeling his jacket off the floor.

He didn't wear his shoes as it would make too much noise. Instead, he covered them with his jacket and opened Kai's front door as quietly as he could. As soon as he succesfully stepped out onto the cemented tile, he let out a breath he didn't realised he was holding. And then, like a criminal, he scurried off and across to his hostel.

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Reaching his flat, Sehun dashed to his small kitchen, rooting inside one the cabinets and when he thankfully found it, down a few rushing gulp of the tonic his aunt gave him to get over his hangover. Sehun never drank and she had never seen him tried doing so. But perhaps, with her own children, she had faced their sullen headache grumble a few too many times firsthand that aiding her nephew through his new experience seemed like the right thing to do. Sehun couldn't be more thankful to his aunt for insisting that he took the tonic saying, ‘Just in case you get drunk’, eventhough he confidently said he won't be drinking alcohol anytime soon. God was he wrong. 

He settled himself on the wooden chair at the kitchen bar, but hissing as soon as he did. The soreness really spread its way through his sensitive part. Kai must have banged him hard enough seeming that his boyfriend had been containing his desire since over a year. Somehow he felt guilty, and sad, that their first-time had to be this way.

Sehun decided to simply stand while checking the calendar on his phone. If he was already conceiving, then the unplanned fetus should have developed in one month time.

But one should always make the effort to try avoiding the repercussion.

He spent almost an hour in the shower, washing himself off thoroughly, spraying the water over the crevices of his reddening hole, fingering slowly and bit his lower lip when it pained.

After doing all that he could, standing under the bullets of water, Sehun convinced his worried mind it would be okay, and felt better from his own tedtalk. At least he thought he did.

He was rubbing his damp face, even smiling to himself, when tears started to fall. A few steady trail, until it became uncontrollable.

There were so much things going on in his mind. His family, Kai's parents, his studies, his future. They were all going to change if ended up pregnant. What would he do? What would happen? How would they react? If prior to this he was fretting about them not approving his and Kai’s relationship, this time it was worse. A pregnancy. That too, out of wedlock.

He couldn't stop his running thoughts. They were killing him. Overwhelmed, Sehun bellowed, shouting at the top of his lungs. And then he dropped to the floor, heaving and weeping miserably.

It suddenly dawned on him that he had just lost his virginity and he didn't have the slightest bit memory of it.

Sehun didn't come out of his flat for the rest of the day.

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Monday arrived. Three days after one of the biggest uneventful times in his life happened. Sehun walked into the cafe and saw his friends. As soon as he reached at the table, someone pushed the cap that he wore at the party in front of him. Lifting his gaze, he looked at the person. Of course, it was non other than his boyfriend who he had just lost his virginity to. Kai smiled at him, and Sehun saw it faltered when he didn’t reply like he used to. But as quickly as the hurt flash across Kai’s expression, he recovered and started talking, "Why didn't you wake me up? Is your phone broken? I couldn't call you. There was no one at your house too."

Ren, Hoseok, Mark and Daehyun looked at Sehun. 

"I went somewhere. There wasn't enough signal I guess." Sehun managed a thin smile. He was lying. The truth was, he was at home for those three days. But he kept quite and his steps furtive everytime Kai came and knocked on his front door. He was more than ever, not ready to face Kai. 

"Sorry Sehun, for pranking on you with the booze." Daehyun said too softly Sehun almost couldn't hear him. The day after the party, Daehyun was slapped on the head by Kai after admitting to be the one who brought the drink. 

Kai glared at Daehyun. Because of this stupid guy, he had to go through the worst hangover. There was no mommy to make him his hangover soup too. Stupid Daehyun needed more than a slap on the head. 

Sehun actually wanted to scream at Daehyun’s face to fuck off because his life might change possibly to one hundred and eighty degree all because of his foolish prank. But since no one knew anything including Kai, he just did what he always did when people said sorry to him. Smiled and shrugged it off. "It's okay, you just want to joke around."

"That was too much of a joke though." Kai muttered, clearly unsatisfied with how easily Sehun forgave the latter.

His words hit Daehyun, who continued apologizing profusely, “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” rubbing his palms together to them to expresss his sincerity.

Sighing, Ren shook his head, patting Daehyun's back, “Make sure not to do it again, silly.” He tousled Daehyun’s head, hitting his fisted knuckles to the head lightly. Rubbing it, Daehyun regretfully nodded.

Mark smirked, shrugging nonchalantly. “You can be dumb but not too dumb.”

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	4. Chapter 4

!TRIGGER WARNING!

SELF HARM

Read at your own risk

Just like what he expected. A month later, Sehun started to feel the hormonal changes in his body. As how he had learned in class and from the countless tome he’d read.

He started to feel like he was going to fall sick. He felt more tired. Certain foods made him felt nauseous. The swooning had him close to passing out. Lucky for him, the nausea wasn't so bad. But even so, he wasn't really sure. So, early in the morning, when all of his friends weren't yet awake to disturb him, Sehun rushed to a clinic a little futher away from his university. He was the first patient there.

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"Yep, there's the baby. And the heartbeat." the doctor who was moving the device on his flat tummy chimed while pointing to the screen.

Although scarce and tiny, Sehun could see the image of the living being inside of him. He couldn't lie to himself. He had fallen in love with the little one. Overwhelmed from the emotions, he gulped down hard, trying to swallow his tears while willing himself not to cry. But failing miserably as one tiny bead of tear slid down the right side of his face, following the slant of his head that was facing sideways to the screen. He wiped it hastily, batting his lashes from blurring his view further.

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The doctor offered him a few sheets of tissues which he accepted, cleaning the gel on his stomach without a word. When his stomach was clear of the gooey stuff, Sehun pulled himself off the clinic bed, sitting up halfway.

The doctor settled herself into the chair. "Are you a student?" she asked carefully.

"Y-yes." Sehun stared down at his hoodie.

"Unplanned?" She tried to make it sounds less stressful.

Sehun managed a wan smile while nodded.

"The father?"

"He doesn't know." he replied sadly.

"Have you thought about this? Keeping it or..." she let her words trailed off, not wanting to touch the sensitive subject.

"I haven't...yet... thought about it."

Even the idea of abortion killed him from the inside. 

The doctor nodded and wrote something on a brochure-length paper card.

"By the way, my name is Eva. I will be your doctor if you wish to continue the pregnancy. Even if it's the other way around, I will still be the one handling it." she smiled to him.

Copying her, Sehun smiled back, just slightly. 

"I hope you will let the father knows as soon as possible. It’s best that he is by your side throughout your journey whether it's going to be good or bad." she continued while still writing something. Although she wasn’t looking at him, her tone was a genuinely caring.

"Alright, doctor."

She handed the paper card to him. Taking it, he took a look at it. There were two boxes. One said 'Abortion' and the other said 'I wish to continue with the pregnancy'.

Dr. Eva saw how deeply Sehun was staring at the paper card so she said, "Choose well." That made Sehun looked up to her.

"If I tick both, what would happen?"

She smiled and reached a hand to stroke endearingly at his knee. "I know it's a tough decision honey.” withdrawing her hand, she opened her arms to him. “Need a hug?" 

For a moment, Sehun stared at her tentatively. But slowly, he nodded.

A rueful smile made its way to her face as she leaned forward, enveloping him into a tight embrace while rubbing his back soothingly. That was when Sehun burst into tears. He brought a hand to his stomach, gripping his trembling fingers over his hoodie that was keeping both him and the child warm.

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When he was walking to his flat, Sehun saw Kai standing in front of his front door. His first instinct was to make a run for it. But his body betrayed him. His stance firm on the ground as his lips naturally parted, "Kai?" he called, regretting it instantly when the latter snapped his head.

Kai was beaming, but it quickly faltered when he noticed Sehun’s sombre appearance. Instinctinvely, he strode towards Sehun.

"Where were you? Are you alright? Why are your eyes red? You cried?" he tried to peer at Sehun’s face, wanting to have a closer look, but Sehun turned his head, eyes downcast so as to avoid the latter’s inspection. He side-stepped Kai who followed beside him as he continued heading to his flat. "I was taking a walk and slammed into the lamp post.”

Kai doubted that the moment the words rolled down Sehun’s tongue, but made no further comment.

When he reached his front door, Sehun turned to his boyfriend. "I'm tired, Kai. I want to rest." indeed he really was tired. The growing fetus was taking a toll on his body.

The dissapointment that covered Kai’s features sent a pang of guilt to Sehun’s chest. But if he let Kai in, Kai would discover the changes and difference currently happening to him. And, at least for the time being, he wasn’t ready to disclose the very matter to Kai.

Bowing his head, Kai rubbed the back of his head. "Uhm okay.” he lifted his head and the puppy eyes stared into Sehun’s slightly bloodshot ones. “When you are not tired anymore, maybe we can take a walk together, later? Just the two of us. Or maybe just lay on your bed? I miss snuggling with you. I miss you." Kai’s lips curled into a soft smile. Having spent so much time with Sehun together, Kai noticed his lover wasn't being himself for the past month. He was even refusing to go for a walk in the park with Kai when that had been their favorite passtime activity. Despite getting caught up with countless assignments and lab experiments, Kai couldn’t help but constantly thought about the latter and worried.

It took Kai telling him that for Sehun to realize how much he’d missed spending time with the latter. He wanted so much to wrap his arms around Kai, but he feared that if he did, he might unravel what he didn’t want to let known. So keeping his compose, he let himself to only tell the tiny bit of truth, "I miss you too.” and schooling a blank expression, he murmured, “Next time, okay? Bye, Kai." he turned his body quickly facing the single door, not wanting to see the eyes that he knew fully well would crumble his resolution.

As soon as he heard a "Bye, babe." from Kai, Sehun unlocked the door and went in, not sparing a single glance. And as quickly as he entered, he locked the door. Only then, a breath that he didn’t know he was holding heaved out of his chest. He leaned back agaisnt the door, shutting his eyes and sucking in a breath. He was safe for today. But tomorrow? And the day after next? What would happen? Swallowing, his eyes fluttered open, staring idly in front for a long minute.

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Maneouvering to the kitchen, he reached into the pocket of his hoodie, taking out the small plastic beg containing prenatal vitamins and the paper card before placing them on the kitchen counter. Kai didn’t see them from how perfectly they were hidden behind the connected pockets. He didn't know if he would even take those vitamins. Paying no heed to them, he simply took out the card.

For an hour or so, Sehun just sat at the kitchen counter with the card in front of him and a black pen being held in his right hand. His hands were shaking. He couldn't think. It would be easier if he didn't have any feelings for the child. He knew more than anyone else that if he waited longer, it would be harder to choose for abortion. But he couldn't seem to bring himself to tick the box. In the end, chair scraping against the floor, Sehun peeled himself off the seat and slipped the paper card under his piling revision books. 

He stalked to his room and shut himself in it. Pacing back and forth that started calm until he was frantically making countless rounds, when suddenly he halted. His eyes darted to his bed and to the floor repeatedly.

It occured to him then.

He might not have to go to the clinic for abortion. He could just try for a miscarriage himself.

Sehun took off his hoodie, leaving only his t-shirt. He climbed on his bed and with a shuddering breath, stood at the edge of it. He turned around in a slow motion, eyes falling on the headboard before he screwed them shut and steeled his whole body.

And then, sucking in a breath, he let himself go as he released it, falling backward to the floor.

He fell hard.

But perhaps not hard enough.

Despite the throbbing ache Sehun felt along his spine, his abdomen didn't seem to have any sign of pain.

So he tried again.

Again.

And again.

He stopped after the fifth time when the overwhelming pain all over his back was starting to become unbearable

By night time, Sehun went and checked his backside in the mirror. The bruises that were covering most of his back was like a horror scene, making him feel queasy that added to his pre-existing morning sickness.

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He thought he was going crazy but he ventured on his mission. The goal is to impact the pregnancy so badly that it _naturally_ failed.

He waited until no else was at the stairs. After making sure the steps were vacant two floor above and below him, Sehun purposedly tripped himself and stumbled downstairs.

Painful was an understatement. Sehun bit out a cry from the horrible pain, but he was lucky to not experience any broken bone.

Still, not the slightest bit of cramp or bleeding.

But then a thought flicked in his mind. Sehun remembered the movie he watched. The girl only felt the pain after hours passed from the time she fell down the stairs.

So, he waited.

But even after three days, he could still feel the baby's presence by his daily vomiting and constant headache.

Eventually, Sehun gave up. He decided to call the resilient fetus 'Miracle'. He wondered if it was because of Kai's or his gene, or if it was solely that Miracle was such a strong baby.

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	5. Chapter 5

Going to class was the last thing Sehun wanted after waking up to aching all over his back, dizziness and endless nausea first thing in the morning.

.

As per usual, Ren would stop by his flat before they left to the lecture together, but just as Sehun was stepping out, something caught Ren’s attention. "What's wrong with your hand? It's all bruised." he pointed to the back of Sehun’s hand, where a purplish mark covered his pinky finger.

The strong fall down the stairs had left the side of his body with a few prominent bruises here and there. He had succesfully covered most of them by wearing long sleeve t-shirt but the ones on his fingers weren't able to be covered because he didn't have any hand glove or bandage.

"I fell." Sehun muttered nonchalantly as he pulled the knob.

But Ren wasn't remotely convinced.

"It doesn't look like you _just_ fell." Just then, he glimpsed the bruise trailing to Sehun's wrist.

Sehun was caught off guard when Ren grabbed at his bruised arm. Totally unprepared, Sehun failed miserably at keeping his calm as the abrupt grip rendered him wincing in pain.

"It's more than the ones at your fingers, am I right?" Ren deduced. The next second, he was dragging Sehun, his hasty legs wended their way straight to the bathroom.

.

.

Only after he’d locked both of them in one of the bathroom stalls did Ren let Sehun go.

Corssing his hands over his chest, Ren commanded, "Strip yourself."

"What?" Sehun looked at him bewildered.

"Are you deaf?"

At the firm tone, keeping his eyes low, Sehun took off his shirt slowly. Immediately, Ren’s eyes widened. He turned Sehun around and saw Sehun's bruise-covered back. The shock caused his jaws to part, but he quickly regained his composure, clearing up his throat while firming his legs that felt like giving out from the horrible sight. "Your jeans, take it off."

Sehun did as he was told, but barely pulling down to his knees when he heard the gasp.

A hand flew to Ren’s mouth as tears started streaming down his face. "Oh my god, Sehun. What happened to you?" Sehun looked like he had been ruthlessly beaten up and stomped on. Even just looking at his body made Ren felt sick to the stomach. 

Sehun was thankful that his stomach hadn't shown yet. Sighing out a partly relieved breath, he murmured. "I told you I fell… a few times... down the stairs." He wasn't lying. He just didn't tell the whole story. 

"Blimey! When?! How come I don't know anything? Are your bones okay? Have you gone to the hospital?" Ren patted and gave a gentle squeeze on every part of Sehun’s body, possibly trying to spot any broken bone. 

Stepping one foot behind, Sehun pushed his friend’s frantic hand away. "I'm fine Ren. They will heal." he reassured.

"I don't know if you realise this. But we normal people don't 'normally' fall down the stairs _a few times_." Ren held up two peace signs, bending them up and down in an air quote.

"I was careless."

"I really think you should go to the doctor, Sehun."

"Already did. They said there was nothing wrong with me." Dr. Eva did said both he and Miracle were completely fine. 

Ren looked down and kept on shaking his head. "Something must be wrong with the doctor then."

Sehun scoffed. "Really now? You are trying to question a doctor’s capability?" he rolled his eyes, clearly dismissing his friend’s apprehension.

"I'm worried about you, Sehun. Why won't you take this seriously?" Ren felt himself getting angry at how reckless Sehun appeared at the moment.

"I went to three doctors alright. They all said the same thing." Alright, that was a complete lie but he really just wanted to avoid bickering with Ren. Luckily, Ren believed him. Or so he thought. 

"I want to hug you but I think that will be painful." Ren huffed out a chuckle, finally dropping the conversation.

"Yeah, that surely will." Sehun raised a brow and joined Ren’s lighthearted laugh.

.

.

While listening to their professor talking, Ren kept pondering about Sehun's condition. He was still worried. So secretly, he texted Kai, letting the latter know about what he’d just witnessed since Kai was the closest to Sehun.

.

.

.

It had been more than a week ever since Sehun last met Kai. Well, more like, he succesfully avoided Kai. Everytime he saw Kai even from afar, he would hide himself anywhere he could (mostly at the staircase), and would only continue what he was doing after making sure Kai had left. He wasn't sure why he did that. Perhaps because he feared… his mind that was already a mess to begin with, would become even more messed up if ever he encountered Kai. It had also been more than a week ever since he last touched the card that was practically the determiner of his near future. 

.

.

Laying on the couch in his flat, Sehun felt a sudden strong craving for waffles. It would be so really amazing to have that particular dessert in his mouth. Even a mere picture of it in his mind was causing him to drool. Unable to hold it any longer, Sehun forced himself to put on his oversized jacket and dragged himself to the nearest cafe.

.

.

Sitting by himself at a secluded spot he purposely picked, Sehun relished in the pleasure coursing through his body from the remarkable taste of chocolate and blueberry flavour on top of the crunchiest batter in the wholewide world.

Pregnancy really had turned him the slightest bit insane. He actually believed he would sprawl and throw a tantrum at the cafe if he couldn’t find the waffles right then.

.

.

.

After eating, Sehun went back upstairs and was nearing to his front door when someone held him by his right shoulder and had him staggering backward. He turned his head over his shoulder to see Kai looking at him grimly.

"How long were you planning to avoid me?" 

Sehun could feel Kai was trying to hold back his exasperation. "I wasn't avoiding you." he said plainly, voiced low.

"Oh really? Then who was the one who would sit by the stair until I gave up waiting for him at his place?" Kai cocked an eyebrow and leaned his face in a challenging way toward Sehun. Sehun bit back a cough the second he heard that. How the hell did Kai know?! And as if he heard what Sehun was saying on his mind, Kai said, "Our friends saw you."

“If you want to get angry, sorry but no thanks.” he pushed Kai’s hand off his shoulder. He was just sated and satisfied, wanting to sleep instead of entertaining a bitter Kai.

Right when Sehun opened the door, Kai rushed inside.

"What the hell Kai-" words left him as he watched Kai purposefully taking of his shoes before making a beeline to the living room, turning around in Sehun’s way as soon as he did. "What-"

Kai cut Sehun off, "I'm tired of having my boyfriend avoiding me for almost two weeks as if it's so natural to do so. I'm tired of figuring out whether we are still in a relationship or not, Sehun!" Kai was half shouting. Shoving his hands into his jacket pockets, he faced Sehun tensely.

Sehun didn't say anything.

"If you're tired of me, tell me. If you want a break up, tell me. Tell me to my face. Not avoiding me. That won't change anything." Kai sounded desperate. He looked like he was about to cry. 

A few seconds passed, until Kai saw Sehun shaking his head slowly.

"No..." the latter murmured, staring down to the floor.

"No what, Sehun?"

It took him awhile to contemplate whether to leave the situation or stayed, but Sehun took of his shoes, and stepped onto the entryway. He gave Kai a hesitant glance that lasted no longer than a second. Tearing his gaze, Sehun threaded to his bedroom. Kai followed him. 

.

Sehun settled on the edge of his bed, bowing his head so low Kai could only see his raven hair and the said of his face. He crossed the distance between them, and kneeled in front of his lover. He brought up a hand, reaching up carefully, and when Sehun didn’t budge, he took the latter's hands into his. "Why are you doing this to me?" he looked at Sehun sadly. "Did I do something wrong? Don't you love me anymore?" dropping his hands to Sehun's thighs, his eyes searched for Sehun's through the lashes. "Look at me, Sehun." he pleaded. It was heartbreaking watching Sehun this way. He looked lost. This Sehun wasn't like the Sehun he used to know. This Sehun seemed broken. 

Sehun did lift his head, meeting Kai’s frowning stare.. But the pair of eyes were nothing but unsure.

"Do you have a problem?" Kai tried again. He didn’t expect for Sehun to respond, but when Sehun made a slow nod, a tiniest bit heaviness left his chest.

And then Sehun patted beside him.

Wasting not a single second, Kai went to his height, before sinking his weight beside Sehun. He grasped at the latter’s hand, "Are you going to tell me?"

"Hug me."

"Huh?" Kai let out in a surprise.

"I want a hug. I miss your hug." Sehun murmured.

"Oh.” Kai blinked, nodded to himself then, “Okay." He scooted closer to Sehun. Lifting his arms and opening it, he wrapped them over Sehun’s back, pulling his lover into him.

Sehun’s eyes involuntarily closed from the warm embrace he longed for more than he thought he did.

Kai felt hands gingerly covering his back, before Sehun was hugging him back, tightly. He could feel it. Sehun was scared. But he didn't know of what. It was like Sehun was keeping something really big from him and that something was too much to be handled alone. 

For a few prolonged minutes, they stayed in that position.

Kai’s hand went to the back of Sehun’s head, stroking his hair gently. "If you miss my hug, then why did you avoid me?" Sehun did not reply to that. Because he wasn't sure why either.

"Make love to me." Sehun said then.

For the second time. Kai was baffled from the sudden request. Was he hearing right? What happened to his Sehun? The Sehun that kept on saying sex would be for after marriage, was asking for him to make love? Was he dreaming?

Kai released Sehun from his hug, pushing Sehun at arm’s length. "Are you serious?" he inquired incredulously, eyes reading Sehun’s for confirmation.

Sehun nodded.

"Sehun, baby.” Kai called, the endeament rolling down his tongue. “I think you are sick."

Sehun breathed out a simper, showing his eye smile. Kai sounded like a confused kid. "No!" he denied while laughing. "I know what I just said, Kai. I'm not sick, okay?" he regarded Kai with bright sparkling eyes and the cutest, most attractive smile that had Kai gulped down hard.

Taking it as a legitimate propostion, Kai resolved. "Alright, then. You asked for it." Despite sounding unsure, Kai had started leaning.

The next thing Sehun knew, Kai was pressing the softest kiss to his lips, which gradually turned heated.

.

Laying on his back, Sehun’s eyes trained on Kai, who equally had his gaze immersed in Sehun’s beautiful orbs, limbs caging Sehun. Kai's hands were at the sides of Sehun's head, holding himself up.

"Why aren't you doing anything?" Sehun broke the silence.

That was when Kai realized. Except the basic parts of it, he knew almost nothing about sex. "Uh..." he scratched at his head before pushing himself to stand on his knees. "I don't know how." he admitted then. If only Kai knew, more than a month ago, he had thrust into Sehun so hard he'd gotten him pregnant. It saddened Sehun that they couldn't remember their first time sex.

"Just do whatever you want, however you want. Relax." Sehun smirked a little.

Kai took a deep breath in and letting it out. He went back to his previous position. And then, he ceased to overthink and let his needs control him. He misse

d holding Sehun's hands and hadn’t had enough of his pink lips, so once again, Kai pushed his lips onto Sehun's while his hands holding the latter’s at the sides of Sehun’s head, intertwining their fingers together as heads tilted in the opposite direction so their lips accommodate each other better. Sehun's lips tasted much too sweet for Kai’s own good. And the feeling itsparked inside Kai, it was addicting. After a few minutes, Kai pushed himself back up.

"Whoa. I don't know I've been missing to kiss you so much." palms pressing into the mattress, his head dropped as he blanky stared wide-eyed at Sehun's chest. 

Sehun simply smiled, fingers getting used to caressing Kai's hand like he used to do.

The gentle stroke of Sehun’s fingers to the back of Kai’s hand was as if he was encouraging him. Kai pulled his head, eyes darting to Sehun. The smile on Sehun’s face stretched further as his hands reached up to Kai’s arms, dragging it down suggestively.

Kai decided then that he couldn’t hold it any longer. He shrugged his jacket off his shoulder and threw it to the floor.

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	6. Chapter 6

"I’ve been waiting for this since forever. Can't believe I’m finally doing it." Kai was actually saying in his mind but hearing Sehun giggling made him realised he was actually musing it out loud. He smiled sheepishly to Sehun, but went ahead and removed his shirt as well. He pulled off Sehun's sweater revealing Sehun's porcelain skin. In a slight rush, they helped unbuttoned each other’s jeans.

.

The breeze of air hitting his skin and Kai’s eyes blatantly staring at his naked torso caused a blush to form on Sehun’s cheek, almost hugging himself.

Kai was quick to lean down, tilting his head at the crook of Sehun’s neck and perched his lips there when Sehun gave more access, pressing a gentle kiss. The moan that came out of Sehun burned his skin with desire. He pushed himself up, leaning up with his palms shuffling backward into the mattress. But then, straddling Sehun by his thighs, Kai realized another important thing.

"I don't have that thing we have to use to prepare you." Kai said apologetically. He sounded a bit dumb saying that, which caused Sehun to stiffle a laugh.

"Lube you mean?” Sehun presumed. “Don't worry, I have it". Reaching his hand to the nightstand drawer beside his bed, Sehun pulled it open, rooting before taking out a brand new bottle of lube. He bought it during one of the days that he was avoiding Kai. He himself wasn't even sure why he bought it in the first place. He had never even thought of having any intercourse with Kai after that first mistake. But at that moment, he was thankful he bought one. 

Kai's eyes popped out, jaw fell open. "You planned to have sex with me?!" Guess the innocent Sehun wasn't so innocent after all.

Sehun didn't answer. Instead, he placed the bottle on Kai's palm.

Kai got off Sehun to let the latter pull down his bottomwear. Right when he went to straddle over Sehun’s groin again, a warm shiver tingled along his skin at the feeling of Sehun’s body without a sliver fabric in between them. Registering Sehun stark naked form made Kai snapped out of his stupefied self and rushed to take off his boxer as well.

While Sehun seemed steady and calm, Kai's heart was thumping like crazy.

Sehun relaxed again into the mattress, inhaling a shallow breath and exhaling, eyes flickering to Kai’s. For awhile, their gazes held without a word, until Kai tore his to twist open the lube.

Sehun kept his eyes on Kai, following the latter when Kai was shifting to the end of the bed. He spread his legs, allowing Kai to fill his position in the middle. He watched as Kai took a dollop of the lube. His knees made a slight jerk when the cold substance touched at his skin, pursing his lips while Kai smeared a good amount to his entrance.

Moving closer to Sehun, Kai put a hand to Sehun's bent knee, and slowly, started pushing his lube coated finger into Sehun's tightness. His eyes fixated on Sehun's face the whole time his finger was going in. Sehun screwed his eyes shut, breathing through the uncomfortableness. 

"Sorry." Kai said, but Sehun shook his head quickly.

"It's fine. Go on." With that, Kai pushed in his second finger. He let Sehun get used to the wider stretch before beginning to pull them halfway, and pushing in again. He ventured deeper for Sehun's sweet spot. Seconds later, he could feel Sehun's whole body vibrating while Sehun let out a pleasured moan, the flaccid shaft against his stomach gradually throbbing. Seeing that, Kai’s half erection swelled further. The eagerness to enter his lover had Kai pulling out his fingers abruptly, and that caused Sehun to frown. He snapped his eyes to Kai, noticing the latter attempting to apply the lube on himself. Sehun held onto Kai's wrist, stopping him.

Kai jerked his head up, casting a questioning look to Sehun.

"I'll do it." Pulling his legs, Sehun sat up before carefully transferring the lube already on Kai's hand to his. And then he was leaning slightly as he covered Kai's raging shaft with the gel, purposefully ministring to give Kai pleassure at the same time. He succeeded. The next second, Kai was closing his eyes, mouth parted with neck tilting back.

"Oh god, Sehun. Don't stop." He breathed, barely witholding himself from thrusting into the latter’s palm.

Hearing that, Sehun stopped his hand movement completely with a smirk. "What you gonna do now?" he looked at Kai who was suddenly yanked to his sense.

"Challenging me, aren't you?" Kai copied Sehun’s mischievious face as he pushed Sehun to lay on the bed, swooping and kissing his mouth hard. Sehun let out a grunt, grabbing Kai’s now fully erected shaft harshly and stroked it up and down at a fast pace. He received an inhumane moan that Sehun gladly swallowed.

Lips pressing deeper into Sehun's, Kai had a full intention to ravish the beautiful softness molding beneath his. Adding to his advance, his right hand reached down and at the speed of light, he rammed two fingers at once as deeply as he could into the wet cavern. A gasp escaped Sehun instantaneously when Kai stroked a spot that sent a surge of pleasure inside, hand halting from a moment of distraction, before he was breathing sultry moans, body melting into Kai as his hand idly caressing Kai’s shaft, feeling the vein along the taut length. "Sehun..." Kai called out his name. Screwing his eyes while arching into Kai, Sehun couldn't afford to reply from the wave of ecstacy Kai infliced on him again and again.

"I love you. I love you so much." Kai pulled away from their sloppy kiss, only to lick at Sehun’s neck before kissing and nipping on it, leaving a small love bite. 

Sehun had turned into a puddle, "I… love you… too-" As he finished saying it, he came hard in between Kai and his body, staining mostly Kai's body with cum. Not even a second later Kai followed suit, painting Sehun's the front of Sehun’s torso with his own cum. 

Kai didn't let Sehun rest as he placed his tip in front of Sehun's puckered, wet hole. Without a forewarning, he thrust into the pulsing cavern before pulling halfway and slamming as fast and hard as he could. "So tight, so hot babe." he drawled as he pulled and slammed again.

Sehun cracked his eyes with upmost effort, getting a look at Kai who, just like him, was driven by arousal. Kai was fucking him madly, sending his body forward and backward. He began to feel nauseous but he tried to tamp it by gulping the bile down. The nausea made him thought about the life in him. The life that he could never bring himself to tell Kai about. The life that, at that moment, he decided to _end_. There was no way Kai would be able to be a father. He was too young. _They_ were too young. He felt sorry and horrible. With those qualm and remorse in him, he pulled Kai’s lower, wrapping his arms and legs around Kai’s back, hugging him tightly. Face buried into Kai's shoulder, Sehun tried to not let his tears fell, but not only did they slipped down his face, he was weeping uncontrollably.

Kai could hear his boyfriend crying and felt the moisture on his shoulder. He slowed down, almost halting as his attention averted. "Sehun? Are you crying?" he peered to Sehun but Sehun burrowed his face further that Kai could only see his locks.

Feeling Kai facing forward again, Sehun pulled up his face to rest his chin over Kai's shoulder. Sniffling, he shook his head slowly.

"Don't lie." Kai stopped thrusting completely. He was more concerened about Sehun now. 

When Kai tried to sit up, Sehun tightened his embrace, not letting Kai move.

"I'm too happy that's why I cried." he lied. He couldn't bear to look at Kai. He was afraid he would end up telling everything to Kai.

"But you don't sound happy..." Kai frowned. His right hand reaching to touch Sehun's head softly while his left hand balanced himself.

"I am.” Sehun murmured. “I am very happy, Kai." he nodded hastily to hopefully convince the latter. "Continue."

"What?" Kai was too worried he ended up forgetting he was still burried inside Sehun and they were actually having sex. 

"You fucking me." Sehun reminded Kai. Frankly, he was not feeling like doing it anymore. He felt squeamish, his head was spinning and his body limp and tired. But stopping now meant letting Kai see his messed up crying face. That would make Kai coaxed him into opening his mouth, which eventually meant Sehun divulging the truth. Kai had always knew how to make him speak of the things that were going on in his mind. Maybe that was why they were still going strong even after two years. Kai being so understanding and caring… how could Sehun ever let him go? 

But Sehun was determined. This time, he would not give any chance for Kai to break through his deepest thoughts. So he chose to endure the warring unwellness. ~~~~

Although Kai did continue thrusting, he maintained it at a slow pace. He knew something wasn't right but he didn't want to force Sehun to tell him. Sehun was emotionally distressed, but the least Kai could do was catering to him. He increased his gentle thrust, hitting Sehun's sweet spot as much as he could, and soon, Sehun was drowning in euphoria. The hands that were wrapped around him slowly loosened. Then Sehun finally let him go, weak arms dropping to the mattress, as he laid his head into the pillow. That gave Kai the chance to take a look at his face.

If Kai’s heart was already breaking from the sound of Sehun’s cry, now it was shattering from seeing the dried up tears staining Sehun’s face, his swollen closed eyes, and feverish nose and cheeks. Kai felt useless. He wanted so badly to take the burden away from Sehun's shoulders but it was like Sehun closed the door to that and won't let him in. ‘ _Why, Sehun?’_ he desperately wondered to himself.

Kai reached his right hand to Sehun's face, touching his cheek. A gratified smile formed on Sehun’s face as he settled his hand on top of Kai’s. The bliss alluded him of his appearance. He wanted to enjoy this moment, imagining it as the moment when Miracle was conceived.

Every thrust Kai did, every pleasure he gave, was out of endless love he had for Sehun, and not merely out of pure lust. 

Instinctively, Sehun's right hand went to his abdomen, where the little one nestled.

_Sorry, Baby..._

One last tear trickled down his face.

He would go for an abortion. 

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	7. Chapter 7

"Sehun, go take your shower." Kai said as he walked out of the bathroom, his hands rubbing his wet hair with a towel. Luckily Sehun had more than two towels since he was such a clean freak.

When Kai lifted his head, his eyes fell on the fading marks all over Sehun’s back. He wanted to confront Sehun on it. But considering the latter’s fragile state at the moment, he decided against it, not wanting to make Sehun feel cornered when the latter was just starting to open up to him. He had an inknling that a simple question might turn into a full-blown negotiation if he sensed Sehun lying to him. It was best for both of them to wait a few more days before he touched the topic. 

"Alright." Sehun took his towel and head to the bathroom.

As soon as he heard the door being locked from the inside, Kai quickly started his mission. He searched almost everywhere as fast and quite as he could. He didn't even know what he was searching for, but he didn't stop. And soon, he found a dubious long card slipped under a stack of books. 

"Obgyn?" Kai read the letters at the top of the card. His eyes trailed down. Sehun's name was on it. And below that… his eyes stopped at the mention of ‘Pregnancy’.

"What-" his heartbeat shot up. There was no way in hell Sehun could get pregnant. They never had sex until today! His eyebrows knitted then. Was Sehun cheating on him? No, Sehun would never cheat on him. He trusted Sehun. He read the date on the card. It was a week or so ago. Then continued where he stopped at the prenatal development.

Five weeks.

How on earth-

Kai decided to think later and to finish up reading the things on the card. He noticed the two choices at end of it. Sehun hadn't decide yet as not one of the boxes was marked yet. There was a space for the other parent's name. It was _his_ name and the handwriting was Sehun's. He quickly put the card back to it's original place.

Kai took one deep breath and exhaled through his mouth as he weaved his way out of the room. 

.

In the kitchen, Kai stared blankly out the windows. He could feel his heart dropping graduallly to the pit of his stomach by the seconds. Why didn't Sehun tell him? Did Sehun choose to abort or to go on with carrying their child? Wait! Their child?

_Five weeks._

Around five to six weeks ago, they had a party at his place. He recalled sitting on the sofa with Sehun. But their friends were there too. Singing and dancing like monkeys. After he took a few swigs the alcohol that he thought was water (thanks to pabo Daehyun), he couldn't remember anything else. The only thing he knew was waking up to a massive headache, naked, on the floor. Eventhough not as bad as that night, he used to drink before but never end up without a clothes on. Now that he realised, it was weird that Sehun's cap fell off the latter’s head since the cap always fit perfectly on Sehun's head, and Sehun had never been the one to sleep sloppily. It was also weird that he woke up on the floor instead of the couch. To think of it, Sehun didn't look well the passed weeks. His boyfriend stayed in his place alone most of the time if not going somewhere Kai had no idea about, which now Kai concluded as went to the ob/gyn. 

He was dissapointed. He was mad. He was clueless. He was confused. But he couldn't seem to burst in front of Sehun. Sehun must have had his own reason to keep it a secret from Kai. Sehun was a smart guy, if not wise. Compared to Kai, Sehun contemplated things more rationally. Kai suddenly rememberd the text message Ren sent him. Sehun bruised body. It had been a week ever since that text was sent to him. By now, Sehun had consideraby healed. But how did he got those bruises?

And… Oh. My. God.

They didn’t use a condom.

Kai cussed himself for only realizing it now. It had alluded him when his thoughts were solely consumed by his desire for Sehun who, just over an hour ago, was so alluring and inviting that even reminscing it caused Kai too hardened _just slightly._

But then Sehun didn’t remind him at all whatsoever. Condom was more crucial than anything else when it came to sexual intercourse, yet Sehun who had been the most careful in their relationship, did not bother to purchase it with the lube?

With all those questions in his heads, Kai didn't realize Sehun was behind him. 

"Kai." Sehun tapped his right shoulder. Kai jumped, startled by the sudden contact. He turned around and saw Sehun looking as startled as him, wide eyes staring at Kai.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you woud be too shocked."

Kai was glas he wasn't holding anything. He massaged his chest a little bit hoping to calm down his heart his already perturbed heart.

"What were you thinking of? You seemed so deep in thought." Sehun leaned forward and tilted his head a little bit towards Kai's face, ascertaining. 

"Nothing." Kai managed to stretch a smile. It was hard to control his face expression, to act like he didn't know anything.

Not realising Kai was faking his smile, Sehun smiled back to him.

Kai raked his eyes over Sehun, noting the latter sporting a blue cap and a matching blue basketball jacket with black sleeves, wearing a white shirt underneath; his usual outfit for when he was going out.

"Are you going somewhere?" Kai asked, already knew the answer he would get. He couldn't help but to stare at the area of Sehun’s stomach for a second before forcing his eyes to flicker elsewhere. He end up glancig to Sehun's face, before straying, giving a once over down to his toes. Only when his eyes properly settled to observe Sehun’s smaller frame that Kai actually noticed it. Sehun was at least a size smaller. He wanted to smack himself for not realising how thin and tired Sehun looked. A guilt climbed and tugged around his heartstring for having an intense sexual activity with Sehun for almost an hour. It must have been tiring to keep up with him. But at least he gave a bunch of pleasure to the latter. At the reminisce of Sehun’s delicious moans beneath him, Kai mentally patted himself on the shoulder, feeling proud of his rabbit-like energy.

Right then, a sweet relieve soothed his nerves when a recollection conjured in his head. Oh right, he did pull out whenever he came. But all the same, Sehun never asked him to. He was the only one attentive enough not to get his boyfriend pregnant. If he knew Sehun had been pregnant all along, it would feel so good to come hard inside the latter warm cavern. Suddenly he was snapped out of his thoughts. Did he just daydream pervertly? Gosh he couldn't believe himself. Shut it, Kai!

Another sudden realization hit him smack dab on the face, bringing him to a crystal clear awareness. Of freaking course Sehun would forget the significance of a condom. Because he was _already_ pregnant.

Luckily Kai wasn't lost in his thoughts for too long. Sehun’s murmur became more distinct as the latter answered his question, telling Kai he was indeed going to someplace god knew where. The protective side of him merged itself, but he knew asking to join Sehun was not an option, so it morphed into a keen worry.

He raised his eyebrow before replying, "Don't go too long. But can you even walk?" He thought he fucked Sehun hard enough. Sehun blushed at that.

"I will walk slowly." he smiled, showcasing his eye smile.

"Do you really have to go now? Today?" Kai saw Sehun was holding the card. He freaked out. Don't tell him Sehun was going for an a-ab-abortion! No! He couldn't do that! It was Kai’s child too! He hadn't even heard the baby's heartbeat. Kai almost pouted in front on Sehun. 

"Yeah." Sehun smiled, barely controlling his subdued tone. He had to do this. If he didn't go today, he might end up ticking the box that said to go on with the pregnancy. He had already beginning to feel attached to the baby. He had to end it quickly before the affection grew stronger. Plus, this would be the only time he got to rest and heal since they were having their semester holiday. 

"Take care of yourself." was the last thing Kai said before he made it look like he was going back to his flat. In truth, heck no he didn't. He hid himself, making sure Sehun couldn't see him and followed Sehun soon after.

.

.

"Follow the bus." He told the taxi driver. The driver nodded and started to pull into the road, following the bus Sehun got onto.

Sehun was deep in overrunning thoughts to realize he was being followed. Both his mental and physical were drained. All he wanted to do was to lie on his bed and sleep through the evening and night. Maybe even better, with Kai hugging him. He missed Kai already. He sighed before closing his eyes.

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.

It had been four hours ever since he followed Sehun.

"Where the hell is he going?" Kai grumbled to himself. He was getting bored following the bus to every single stop it made but not seeing Sehun getting off it. He was leaning at the backseat lazily, neck bent a little to the right when he suddenly sat up straight, eyes popping out. God, please don't tell him Sehun fell asleep.

Kai was right. Sehun only did wake up after being shaken by the bus driver countless times. He was annoyed that his sleep was disturbed, but he still opened his eyes, blinking it a few times and saw a stranger looking at him worriedly. 

"Kid, are you okay?" 

Sehun didn't understand why the elder man asked him something like that. He looked out the window to see it was already dark. He straightened himself and rubbed his eyes to be more awake.

"W-where am I?" He tried to recognise the surrounding. He didn't hear what the stranger was saying but luckily he knew the place. Eventhough he wasn't as near to the clinic like when he went there the first time, he wasn't hours far from it either. He just had to walk longer. He smiled to himself. 

Standing up, the soreness at his rear certainly did a great job at yanking him alert.

"Thank you for not kidnapping me." Sehun bowed to the stranger he at last recognised as the bus driver, before _carefully_ getting off the bus.

Kai was waiting patiently in the taxi ever since the bus stopped. He kept his eyes sharp on the very vehicle. As soon as he saw Sehun, he pulled out a few dollars and offered it to the driver.

"Keep the change!" he chimed in a whisper as he got off the car. He made sure to follow Sehun as quietly as he could since there weren't that many passersby around them. 

Sehun was limping. Kai scoffed at Sehun's stubbornness for still wanting to go today. But then he sighed. Sehun had gotten smaller. His boyfriend was shrinking. Did he even eat? Maybe he did eat but not enough for two. Kai promised to himself. After he solved whatever matter that he was going to face after this, he would make sure to watch Sehun like a hawk. His baby should be born healthy and cute!

Thirty minutes later, they arrived at the clinic. Sehun was exactly an hour lucky because the clinic was supposed to be closed at ten o'clock at night. And even more luckily, for Kai at least, Sehun was the type that didn't pay that much attention to the people around him so he didn't notice Kai's presence even when they were only the two of them at the waiting lounge. 

.

"I'm Dr. Eva's patient, Oh Sehun." He slid the long card on the reception counter. Standing a little ways from Sehun, Kai nodded to himself at the mention of the doctor's name.

"She has been waiting for you! Please head straight to her room." The person sounded excited but also relieved Kai wasn't even sure but she smiled widely it was funny. 

"Thank you." Sehun smiled back warmly and went into a room where Kai supposed was the place Dr. Eva was in. As soon as the ivory colored door was closed, Kai stood right outside the room, plastering his ear against it. 

.

"So, have you made a choice?" Dr. Eva smiled, looking up at Sehun who was standing in front of her. Sehun sighed and nodded.

"Good? Or bad?"

"Bad... I guess?" That made her frowned. She took Sehun's right hand and put her left hand on top of Sehun's.

"Oh, honey. Are you sure?" She was hoping for him to shake his head and say ‘no’, that he changed his mind. But Sehun just took a deep breath and nodded. Just when she was about to say something, the door barged open. Both of them turned their head to the source of intrusion. Sehun was more than appalled to see Kai.

"Kai? What are you doing here?" Kai scoffed at that.

"What am _I_ doing here? What are _you_ doing here, Sehun?” his eyes flew to the person sitting on the chair, “Mrs. Doctor, I don't quite get what you guys were talking about, but if it's about _abortion_ ,’ Kai rose his voice, purposely making it a notch louder at the emphasis, "No, he is _definitely_ not sure."

Sehun stood still, regarding Kai with a frown. His head shook in confusion, mouth parting slightly. It was like he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. Instead, he swallowed down the mass stuck in his throat. "I-I" Sehun was cut off by Dr. Eva. 

"You must be the father." she said calmly. 

Father? Wow Kai surely wasn't used to that word. Sounded ancient to him to be called that. He better got used to it because they certainly most definitely were going to welcome the baby. 

"Yes, that's me," Kai declared decisively. "And in case you're wondering babe, I followed you."

Her lips curled into a pleasant smile, putting her hands to her knees while looking at them. "I suppose you might want to have a talk with each other?" Sparing them the response, she handed the card back to the still stunned Sehun.

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	8. Chapter 8

"Very much." Kai consented. Yes, they did have an _important_ matter at hand.

Dr. Eva nodded. "Well, then, I guess, we will meet each other some other time, Sehun? Perhaps with Kai along?"

Sehun reluctantly nodded.

"Thank you very much, doctor. See you again." Kai said, and grabbed Sehun by his wrist and tugging the latter along as he started for the door.

His steps falling behind Kai, Sehun turned a little to bow hastily to Dr. Eva before he stumbled to follow Kai’s hurried pace.

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"Let me go, Kai!" Sehun shouted finally, after being dragged a little ways from the clinic.

Kai dropped his hand immediately, though slightly harsh. Guilt crept inside him, seeing Sehun’s too fragile state that felt like he could break anytime soon. 

Scowling in exasperation, Sehun rubbed at the soreness on his wrist. He noted the repentant look flitted on Kai’s face, but it quickly disappeared in favour of Kai’s blatant stare.

"Are you hungry?" Kai's sudden question pissed Sehun off even more.

"What? How can you even think-"

"You have to be hungry." Kai turned his back to Sehun and walked to the nearest restaurant.

“Wait-Kai!” groaning, he dashed for Kai despite himself.

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"How long have you known?" Sehun asked after they finished ordering.

Kai acted like he was thinking hard. "Hmm let me think. I don't know. A few hours? Six to be precise." he showed a high five and a thumbs up. Sehun had a calculative gaze but then his eyes dropped to the table, staring down at it. Kai turned the card in his hand and read. "Oh, look! It says the other parent is Kim Kai. Wow, how can I only find out today." Kai pointed at his name, holding it in Sehun’s way.

Sehun closed his eyes and letting out a heavy breath. "Don't do this, Kai." he pleaded, weariness lacing his tone.

Holding up both hands in mock surrender, Kai questioned innocently, "Do what? I'm only pointing out the fact." When the pair of eyes in front of him cracked open, Sehun had a soft frown knitting his eyebrows.

"I'm sorry, okay."

"Are you? The last time I checked you were about to get rid of our child without me knowing," Kai scoffed. But his sarcasm crumbled when a heartfelt inquiry rolled out of his tongue, "Why did you not let me know, Sehun?"

Kai sounded dissapointed but interrogative as hell at the same time it scared him. His saliva was suddenly way thick to swallow. Sehun continued looking down at the table.

"Sehun-"

"I don't know.” his shoulders sagged as he spilled a response. “Maybe because I was scared you wouldn't let me get... rid... of it," the last words were very hard to utter. "Maybe I was scared you would force me to get an abortion without my own willingness. I couldn't think. I was scared. _I am_ scared," his voice cracked with emotions. "My mind is a mess." Bringing his hands onto the table, Sehun burried his head into his palm, elbows proppelled against the surface.

Kai carefully changed his place to sit beside Sehun. As soon as he slipped next to his lover, he wrapped an arm around Sehun's shoulder, providing the comfort that he had been wanting to give since a couple hours ago.

"I owe your parents. This is not how I'm supposed to repay them. They don't even know we are dating. I should be studying right now, not talking about _baby_ whatmore… abortion," Sehun's tear slid down fast and not stopping. He pulled up his head, looking at Kai through bleary view. "Do you even remember how this baby happened?" Just as he suspected, Kai pursed his lips. "No, right?"

Kai had a hard time staying serious when Sehun so much resembled a little kid crying. It was cutely ugly. A tiny smile curled Kai’s lips as he suppresed the urge to chuckle. "You look ugly." He used his thumbs to wipe some of the tears from Sehun's face. 

"Kai!" Sehun cried angrily. A firm slap reached Kai’s thigh, rendering a pained grimace on his face.

"Ouch! Okay, okay. I'm sorry," He rubbed at the burning spot. Sehun may be weak but he sure had a pair of strong hands. Kai grinned then, arms enveloping Sehun sideways in a loving hug. "Don't cry," He rested his chin on Sehun's shoulder while rubbing Sehun’s back soothingly.

"How can I not," Sehun murmured, wiping his tears with the tissues he retrieved from a small container on table. "What do we do, Kai?"

Kai was thinking of an answer when their food came. The waiter sent Sehun a look of concern but politely served their foods and drinks all the same.

"Thank you." Kai offered him a smile, which the waiter replied with a wider, graceful smile.

“You’re welcome.”

And then they were alone.

Kai pushed the plate in front of Sehun. He made Sehun grabbed hold of the spoon and fork. "Eat." he sent Sehun a genuine smile.

"I don't feel like eating." Sehun was about to put down the utensils but Kai stopped him.

"Have you seen youself in the mirror? You are almost nothing but bones now," Kai’s brow furrowed, his smile turned upside down. "Think about the baby at least. My child should be born healthy and cute."

Just a tiny bit, Sehun let himself feel the warmth spreading inside him. He smiled at thought of welcoming their child into this world. Turning to Kai, the smile faltered into more of a bittersweet. "We are not keeping it, Kai." It killed him to say that, but that was the fact.

Kai’s hands flew to cup Sehun's face in between his hands, making a firm eye contact. "Yes, we are." he said sternly.

Sehun pried Kai’s hand off. "Oh yeah? Have you thought hard enough because I surely did. I can already see the _wonderful_ future of me having to not only give up this pregnancy but to break up with you, my studies in the university halted and to not even being able to see you ever again. Oh! Maybe even getting kicked out by my own family. Why? Because we both are so brave to tell our parents that we are homosexual and that they are going to be grandparents in less than eight months." Kai was about to say something but Sehun held his hand up. "Should we also tell them about how we were so _drunk_ when we made their soon to be grandchild?" he didn’t mean to sneer and sounded so sarcastic but the fear and frustration made him lash out before he realized. It surprised him when all Kai did was holding his hand before baffling him further when Kai leaned and pecked at his lips.

Kai smirked at the startled, caught-off-guard look Sehun displayed. "You talk too much."

Sehun scrunched his mouth, totally not appeased.

"You have to eat." Taking Sehun’s spoon, Kai scooped some of the fried rice onto it and brought it to Sehun's mouth. He received a stubborn stare, but the frowning lines around Sehun’s lips dissolved as he parted his mouth, allowing Kai to feed him the spoonful of rice.

"Good boy! Now chew chew."

Although his appetite had long left him from the stress that relentlessly burdened his thoughts, Kai’s sweet encouragement made chewing the rice pleasureable.

Kai beamed happily at seeing Sehun swallowing the said food. “Is it good?"

Sehun nodded. Kai was about to take another spoonful of rice but he hindered the latter by his hand. "I can do it. You have to eat too."

The thoughtful words had Kai smiled fondly and he stole a kiss to Sehun's cheek. "Eat the vegetable, fruit, chicken and fish too. Our baby cannot develop well and grow cutely if you're being picky." Kai nagged as he was grabbing his own spoon and fork.

The corners of Sehun’s lips twitched with a slight irritation. "Be thankful I even eat." he murmured under his breath. But Kai heard that.

"What? You don't want to eat them?” Kai turned fully, supporting his chin with his right hand on the table while addressing Sehun, “Then I guess I'm going to chomp them in my mouth and transfer them to you using my powerful lips. Then i'll close your mouth tight with my strong hands until you swallow every single bite."

Unpleasant images conjured in Sehun’s mind and he immediately cringed. "Euww. Alright, alright. I’ll eat them all. Satisfied?" he cocked his eyebrows, looking at Kai pointedly.

A happy beam swept over Kai’s features. Only then did he start to prepare himself to eat again. "Very very." he chimed and dug in, eating right next to his significant other, not minding his deserted seat opposite them.

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	9. Chapter 9

It took them awhile to find a taxi since it was already late at night. One hour later, they were inside Sehun's flat. As soon as he arrived, Sehun quickly found his bed to lay down but he stopped when he saw the cum-stained blanket.

"Uuurgh why did we have sex." Sehun grunted. Kai was behind him when he saw the blanket. He smirked.

"Go rest at the couch I will clean it up first." Kai side-stepped Sehun and went inside the room before started cleaning up. 

Not wanting to entertain the unpleasant view any longer, Sehun left them room gladly.

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After putting on new sheet and blanket, Kai head back into the living room to call Sehun, only to see the latter sleeping soundly on the sofa.

"Haish this soon-to-be-mama sleeping like a log." 

Sehun looked so tired he didn't have the heart to wake him up, so Kai slid his hands underneath Sehun and carried him bridal style to the room, then laying Sehun carefully on the bed. He was thinking about going back to his place but he was tired as well. After a couple seconds of contemplation, he decided to lay down beside Sehun and fell asleep immediately.

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Kai was awoken by the sound of someone retching. He half opened his eyes and stretched his body. The sound didn't stop. Then it hit him.

Sehun!

He pushed himself up and got off the bed. He half ran to the bathroom and saw Sehun bending by the toilet bowl, body heaving as he threw up.

Kai sighed. Maybe that was why Sehun had shrunk so much. He crossed over the threshold and reached the other’s side, lowering to one of his knees and rubbed Sehun's back.

When Sehun looked like he was done, Kai flushed the toilet and helped the sagging figure stood up.

Sehun felt horrendous. He bent at the sink and rinsed his mouth, then walking slowly and weekly to his room with Kai holding his left hand. Soon after, Kai was helping him laying down on the bed. 

"I ate too much." Sehun whined and covered his eyes with his hand.

"No, you didn't.” that might the only proper food he’d had for the week. “I will make something for breakfast."

"Then I will eat and puke again." 

"No you won't."

"Trust me I want to believe you." They laughed at that.

Kai bent down and planted a kiss to Sehun's forehead before he left for the kitchen.

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A few minutes later, the smell of pancake filled up the flat. That attracted Sehun. He was on his feet in a second, and threaded to the kitchen to see Kai transfering pancakes on a plate. He made himself comfortable by the kitchen counter, drooling while oggling at the blueberry pancakes.

"I'm hungry." Sehun declared, missing the smirk on Kai’s face as he was too focus on the delicacy right before him.

"I know you are." Kai placed a plate of two small pancakes in front of Sehun.

"That looks delicious." Sehun stared at the pancakes.

"Of course, I made them." Kai sassed. 

.

Sehun didn't eat them. He just kept on playing with them, pushing them with his fork.

Kai rolled his eyes. "Are you going to eat or not?" He already finished his pancakes.

"I don't know." Sehun pouted sadly. Worrying about the possibility of vomiting.

"What do you mean you don't know? Just take one and eat. Like this." Kai forked one of Sehun's pancake and took a bite.

"Kai!" Sehun whined. He was about to protest when Kai gently held his jaw, guiding his face forward and managed the pancake from his mouth into Sehun's using his tounge.

Sehun was grossed out. He frowned disgustingly at Kai, mouth parted showcasing the pancake in his mouth.

"Chew it." Kai closed Sehun's mouth manually. Although repulsed by the act, the latter clenched his eyes and started chewing, before swallowing them quickly.

In the end, Sehun decided to just eat.

"We are going back home." Kai said suddenly, halting Sehun on his last bite, before swallowing tightly.

Sehun turned to look at Kai, eyes wider.

"I'm telling them." Kai decided.

Letting go of the untensil in his hand, he reach for Kai’s and grasped them, shaking his head vigorously. 'No' he mouthed, brows furrowing fearfully.

"Yes, Sehun. YES. I'm going to tell them whether you like it or not. I want this child, Sehun. And I want her or she to be accepted by our family." his hand went to softly touch Sehun's lower abdomen.

"This child is going to be gone if you tell them Kai!" Sehun stood up, hands flew to the air angrily. "We are going to be separated! Do you want that?" his voice dying by the last sentence.

"They never say they hate gay. You are the one who assume all those negative things in your mind." Kai said calmly. "If they love us, then they are going to accept the fact the we are different. If they can't, then I should be thankful to our child for making me know my parents are not that loving after all."

Sehun silently agreed. He was just so scared because he had never seen any homosexual couple around them until they arrive in America. Maybe, they were all dating in hiding, secretly, like him and Kai!

"Then, if we really do get kicked out, what are we going to do?" Sehun asked, voice defeated as he sat back on the stool.

"I'm going to find a job. I have friends who can help me." Kai said confidently.

"I'm working with you." Sehun demanded.

"No, it's going to be too tiring for you. The baby might be harmed."

"It won't. This is Miracle we are talking about. He or she is strong." Sehun patted his stomach proudly.

"Miracle? Is that what you're calling it?" Kai's eyebrows raised.

"For now, yes. My lovely Miracle." Sehun grinned happily.

"Why Miracle though?"

Sehun scratched his non-itchy head. Should he told Kai or should he not? Well, might as well just be honest.

"About that..."

So, he told Kai about his failed attempts for a miscarriagge. Kai was not surprisingly shocked and started getting furious, so he quickly grabbed Kai's forefinger and rubbed it hoping to calm his boyfriend down.

"I'm sorry, Kai. I don't do it anymore." he made a pitiful face.

Kai dropped his head, looking down at the floor, his hand touching the side of his forehead. He took a deep breath. "So that's how you get the bruises." he glanced at Sehun. Sehun seemed taken aback.

"How did you-"

"Ren texted me. He was so worried. He might have scold me for not taking care of you well if he knew we are dating."

Sehun face distorted apologetically. "I'm sorry." he murmured.

"Never mind that." Kai leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Sehun. "Just promise me you won't do that ever again. Don't try… to kill… the baby." voice full of fear, he tightened his hug around Sehun.

Sehun settled his chin on Kai's shoulder, his hand reaching to Kai's back. "I won't."

.

That day, they started to plan their flight back home. Kai bought two airplane tickets. They were planning to stay in Korea for three days but in case something happened, they brought more clothes with them. They didn't tell their family they were coming. They called it a 'Surprise Visit With Even More Surprises To Come'. They were ready. Even if they didn't, there was no turning back. They told their friends they would be gone for a few a days. Mark and Ren told them to take care of themselves whereas Hoseok and Daehyun kept on begging to follow them saying it would be nice to introduce some friends to the parents. Kai wasn't stupid. He knew those two Dumb and Dumber were bored enough they just wanted to play around somewhere. Meeting 'the parents' wasn't even on their list. So Kai said no and asked them to fuck off. That made Sehun giggling. He patted his friends' back to show symphaty. He wondered what their reaction would be like if they were to know all four of them were going to be uncles. He smiled at the thought. They were planning to tell their friends after they came back from Korea. But would they even come back together?

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The next day, their plane departed to Korea. They left to face the challenges that were nearing. In the flight, their hands clasped together, trying to get some strength from each other. Well, more like Sehun was trying to absorb some of Kai's strength. Being pregnant made him sleepy most of the time so he ended up dozing off soundly with his head rested on Kai's shoulder.

Being the only one awoke the whole time, Kai was definitely bored. So he playfully poked over Sehun's sweater-covered stomach. "Baby? Are you sleeping too?" He waited for a moment and laughed at himself for waiting for a response. Then he turned to glance at Sehun's sleeping face. "Your mama sleeps so much. What have you done to make him so tired?" he looked back at Sehun's stomach. Patting it softly, he whispered "Don't drain too much energy from him, will you?" Grinning, he clasped his hands together, fixed his sitting position a bit while careful not to wake Sehun up, and closed his eyes. He leaned his head on Sehun's and fell asleep a few minutes later.

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Eight hours later, they arrived at Korea. Sehun was standing in front of the main entrance of the airport. He smiled to himself. Hands in his sweater pocket, his eyes were looking around. He took a deep breathe in. It felt so nice to smell the fresh air of the country he grew up in. He didn't realize he missed his country a lot with a lot of things going on at the university. 

"Sehun!" Kai strode toward Sehun while pushing a trolley of baggage. Sehun turned around and started walking to him. 

"Sorry I was so busy looking around." Sehund said when he reached the trolley.

"It's okay. The bags weren't that heavy." Kai offered him a smile.

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After successfully got a taxi, they put their bags in the trunk with the help of the kind driver. They got into the passenger seat and the taxi started to pulled out onto the road.

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"I'm scared." Sehun half-whispered halfway in the journey.

"Don't be." Kai grabbed hold of Sehun's hand and stroked his thumb over it. He folded his body sightly so that his face was close to Sehun's stomach. "Miracle, give your mama some strength!" he shouted in a whisper.

Sehun smiled and caressed Kai's head softly, touching Kai's hair.

Kai straighted up and flashed Sehun a smile before pecking at his cheek. He looked back to the front, hand still holding Sehun's.

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As the sun was setting, they finally entered the all-too-familiar neighborhood. Kai made sure to drop Sehun off at his cottage first, then left with the taxi to his own afterwards.

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Now, Sehun was very much alone. Dread and anxiety started seeping in, but before they started to muddle his thoughts, he made a brave move against his fear.

As soon as he stood at the front door, Sehun inhaled a deep breath, let it out, raised his decisive fist, and began knocking at the door.

He could hear his mother saying “Coming!" and her steps padding toward the door. Shortly after, the door was opened, revealing his mother's in her apron. She must have been cooking or baking something. She locked surprised and happy all at once when her eyes fell on his underneath the brim of his cap. 

"Oh my gosh, Sehun! What are you doing here?!" she surged forward and wrapped his arms around his torso since she wasn't that tall. Sehun got his father's gene that had him reached six foot in height despite his mother being five foot tall.

"Hey mom. Can't I visit my own family once in awhile?" he said jokingly.

She released him from the bear hug. "Of course you can! It's just that, you haven't come home for months and you didn't even call telling us you're coming."

"I wanted to make it a surprise." he grinned.

"I’ve missed you so much. I mean WE miss you, but I miss you more." she shrugged. She took a glance at her son up and down, and frowned. "Is the university treating you badly? Are they pressuring you too much? You don't look healthy. Have you been eating well?" the worry in her voice as clear as day. Her hands were holding his arms.

Endless questions from his mother. Sehun should have expected that to come. "I'm fine, mom. Just, sometimes, I kinda forget to eat." he smiled sheepishly. Lie. Of course he didn't look healthy, his morning sickness was getting worse the past few days. Even if he ate a lot he ended up throwing most of it up into the toilet bowl and down the drain. Kai bought him a sea band yesterday and thankfully that thing helped quite a lot.

She slapped his hand. "You should always eat three balanced meal a day! I thought I always tell you that!" he grinned. "We will talk more later. Now come inside darling. You must be tired." She pushed the door wider to let him in. He carried his duffel bag with him but she took it from him insisting she wanted to help. He gave a thanks and they went upstairs.

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"Just the same like when you left it." she was patting on his mattress hoping to clear up the dust if there was any. "I clean it every one or two weeks. Sometimes Woozi sleep here."

He nodded while looking around his room. It wasn't big of course. Just enough for two person not to bump into each other. He never really slept there. He mostly used it to study.

"It's weekdays so your brothers are at school and your sister is at the kindergarten."

It had been more than six months ever since he last came home. He bet his brothers looked just the same, though he kind of hoping Woozi would grow a bit taller.

"Your dad is working of course.” she dusted her hand against her hips over the apron. “Now, rest! Sleep or whatever. Your body must be aching from the flight." she stepped over and patted his chest, smiling at his dear son. Then she turned around and walked to the door.

"Thanks mom."

"You're welcome, honey." And she closed the door.

Sehun sat on his bed and put the bag her mother left on the bed, to the floor. He reclined onto the thin mattress and breathing silently. His eyes strayed to his stomach and he put his hands on it.

"Will miracle happen to us, Miracle?"

He didn't realize when but he fell asleep with his cap still on his head.

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By around eight at night, he was awoken by voices outside his room.

"He's tired Vernon, you can talk to him later." he heard Woozi said as he blinked his eyes. Still blurry, he rose from the mattress, the cap somehow fell from his head while he slept stay on the sheet.

"But it has been hours since he arrived." Vernon whined.

Sehun opened the door to see Woozi with his nonchalant face and Vernon with his frowning one. As soon as they saw him, Woozi's face changed to a small smile while Vernon's turned excited as ever.

"Brother!" Vernon jumped onto Sehun and hugged his eldest brother somewhat roughly.

"Hey bro." Woozi greeted his brother.

"Whoa hyung have you been dieting? You are skinny." Vernon checked out his brother's body. Woozi nodded agreeing, having caught that just from his view.

"Haven't I always?" Sehun's lips quirked up.

"Well then I guess you are skinnier." Eyes still checking Sehun out, his eyebrows and shoulders raised. "Please don't tell me you're anorexic!" he held Sehun by the arms, looking worried as hell.

Sehun broke into a laugh and shook his head. "No, I'm not. Don't you worry." he noticed the bathroom and realized he hadn't showered yet. "I should take a bath." he muttered to himself.

"Oh yeah, go on. We will meet you at dinner." Woozi said and grabbed Vernon by the back of his tanktop, dragging him away from Sehun.

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After showering, Sehun went downstairs and saw his father on the couch reading a newspaper.

"Appa." he called his father and a vacant loveseat.

At the calling of his dimunutive, Mr. Oh looked to the person with the voice he was fond of. "Oh, son!" he put down the newspaper and paid heed to Sehun. 

"Have you been well?" Sehun asked with a warm smile.

"Of course! Your mother cooks very healthily for the family, how can I not be?" his hand spread and smiling widely.

Sehun nodded, glad to hear that. "That's good to hear. What about your business? Has it been going well?" He used to be his father assistant when he was at school. He played quite a big role so when he left the business went down a little bit. 

"Fine, fine. Vernon helped me more now. Sometimes Woozi." Mr. Oh's mouth quirked up and eyebrows raised, his head tilted a little as his hand rubbed at his arm. 

"Has he been studying well?" he talked about Vernon.

"Woozi does tries to teach him sometimes." Mr. Oh nodded while saying it. Right at that moment, his wife called them for dinner.

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Mrs. Oh really went all in tonight. There were pasta and muffin. Two foods that sadly, Sehun couldn't accept well at the moment. He watched his family busy asking each other to put certain foods on their plate. He gulped down. He prayed at the moment for the sea band to help him. They would end up know of his condition, but for now he really didn't want to ruin the moment. 

"Eat up, Sehun. I made them especially for you." His oh-so-oblivious mother grinned at him.

"I will." he offered a smile back. He felt someone pinching him by his arm, but not hard enough to make him feel the sting. He glanced to the side and saw Yuju frowning sadly, short fingers still pinching him. 

"Oppa must haven't been getting any massage, that's why you are weaker." she concluded when she could feel his eyes on her.

"That's right. There was no Yuju to massage me." he agreed cutely to match her way of talking. 

Her eyes darted to her mother. "Omma, can't you make oppa stay here forever? That way I can massage him everyday so he will be strong again!" she chimed, hands flew up excitedly.

"No, Yuju. He needs to study so he can help the family earning money in the future." Mrs. Oh was busy pouring orange juice in five mugs, one smaller plastic one for Yuju. Then she gave each of them to the family members and was followed by “Thank you”s from each of them and “Welcome”s from her.

"Aww what to do brother?" face expression turned sad, she looked at him, clasping her hands. Sehun smiled at her and pinched her cheek.

"Yuju, let your brother eat if you want him to become stronger again." Woozi said.

Yuju pouted but smiled at Sehun afterwards. "Oppa yaa eat deliciously okay? You can eat my food too." she said as she put some of the broccolies from her plate to Sehun's. 

"Yah yah Yuju don't give what you don't want to others." Vernon pointed his finger and shaking it vigorously at Yuju accusingly.

Yuju glanced at Vernon from the corner of her eyes, giving a stink-eye, and looked back to his eldest brother sweetly.

Sehun smiled and bent down, levelling Yuju’s height. "Thanks dear. Oppa will eat well." he took a small bite of the muffin and muched for a _long_ time before swallowing because he figured if he did the opposite he would get nauseous quicker.

"Are you doing alright at America?" Mrs. Oh asked after taking her seat and helping herself with the meal.

"Yes, Kai helps me from time to time."

Mrs. Oh looked shocked and clapped her hand together. "How can I forget about him." she chastised herself. "Is he doing good?"

Hell yeah Kai was so fine the last time Sehun checked. "He's fine. We made new friends. They are all very helpful."

She was glad to hear that. "What's their names? Are they Korean too?" 

He was glad his mom was interested on the topic. The nausea was getting to him he had to stop eating for awhile. "Mark is canadian. He's not korean. Ren is korean and like me and Kai, he's from Korea. Hoseok and Daehyun are korean as well but they lived there in America." he explained. 

"I would love to meet them. Maybe they can come to our house sometimes? But of course they would be sleeping at the veranda." They all laughed at that.

He nodded. "Yeah that would be good. I'm sure they would love to."

"Are the subjects hard?" Woozi asked.

"A little harder from what I used to learn at school of course, but it's normal since it's higher level education."

"No I mean, compare to the university here, which one is harder?"

Sehun let out an "Oh." and glanced around to think. He frowned, lips jutting out. "I'm not sure, Woozi. I haven't asked my friends here about their studies." he looked at Woozi looking unsure. "I will ask them later." he smiled convincingly. Woozi nodded at that.

They talked about random things for awhile, mostly updating Sehun on their family matters.

When Sehun finally put down his kitchenwares and stood up, all eyes were on him. 

"Are you done? You didn't eat that much." his mother complained.

He gave a thin smile. "I'm full."

"But oppa, you're going to die if you don't eat more." Yuju stated worriedly.

"No, he won't, Yuju. Who taught you that?" Vernon made a scornful look.

"The teacher did. She said if you don't get enough nutrition you won't be able to funtion properly." She said confidently.

"Won't be able to function properly is not _dead_ , Yuju. You need to learn how to differentiate." He looked at her mockingly and rolled his eyes.

"You're mean." Yuju said sadly.

"Vernon." Mr. Oh said in a warning tone.

"I just told her to learn a new thing, dad. What's wrong with that?" he shrugged, protesting.

Sehun who was still standing at the table cleared his throat. If only his nausea wasn't there then he would be able to eat more. He was actually still hungry but there wasn't anything much he could eat without feeling like vomiting. Eating just vegetables wasn't that tasty either. He couldn't possibly grab something else in the kitchen because then his family would know.

"Don't fight, guys. Yuju, you're just worrying about me. Thank you." he smiled at her and ruffled her hair. She smiled happily and stuck her tounge out to Vernon. Vernon let out a huff and continued eating indignantly, fork poking the food in his plate harshly.

After washing his dishes, Sehun bid goodnight to the family and went to his room. As if on cue, as soon as he entered his room, his phone rang. He grabbed it and sat on the edge of his bed. His eyes shone with excitement to see the caller was Kai and quickly answered. 

"Hello." he chirped.

"Oh! You sound excited. Miss me?" Kai asked on the other end.

"So much." his heart swelled as he was saying it.

"Did something interesting happened?" 

"Right now is interesting." he giggled and grinned. He heard Kai laughed.

"Are you doing okay?"

Sehun let out a 'humph' before responding, "I feel nauseous."

"Why? Isn't the sea band helping?" Kai sounded worried. After seeing Sehun throwing up day and night, he made a little research on the internet on how to control morning sickness. That was when he found out about the sea band. Lucky for them, the nearest pharmacy to their study place had it. 

"It does help. But my mom cooked pasta and made some muffins for me. My throat can't accept them. I'm hungry now. " he said sadly, remembering the delicious looking pasta and muffin.

"Auch that's so bad. Do you want me to come over? I'll bring something." Kai suggested.

"No, don't come. What will they say seeing you come late at night. You never did that."

Kai kept mum for a second and had to agree. "Have you been vomiting?"

"No, thank god." Sehun said, sounded so relieved.

"That's good."

Comfortable silence receded again.

"Kai? Are you there?"

"Yepz, wide awake."

"It's tommorow, right?" They planned to tell their family as quickly as they could. 

"Yeah, I've already told my parents. We are coming to your house tommorow."

"I'll tell my parents after this."

"What? You haven't told them yet?" Kai sounded disbelief.

"Umm yeah I kinda fell asleep right after I came home." Sehun scratched at his neck.

"You sleep so much."

"Your child absorbs my energy, what can I do?" he pouted.

"Don't blame my baby. Maybe all this while you've always wanted to sleep like a log so now that you're pregnant you grab the chance and blame Miracle."

"Kai!" Sehun fumed and earned a big laugh from Kai.

"I was joking, babe. I'm glad you get to sleep. Pregnancy is tiring, isn't it?"

"It is." Sehun rubbed his throat. He was still feeling nauseous.

"Don't you worry, my darling. I will be right by your side tommorow and forever." Kai vowed with all his heart.

Sehun smiled. "No matter what happened?"

"Uhuh." Kai nodded eventhough Sehun couldn't see it. "No matter what happened." 

"I know you will."

.

They ended the call and Sehun went downstairs to look for his parents. He saw his whole family were in front of the television. They looked up at him as he maneuvered to them.

"Come join us hyung!" Vernon patted the space beside him.

Sehun settled onto the seat and Yuju climbed onto his lap. He felt bad for Yuju. She might have to become an auntie at such a very young age.

"Omma, appa." he began after a while of contemplating.

They looked at him, raising their eyebrows in question.

"Kai and his parents are coming for a visit tommorow." he informed them.

"Oh, alright. We'll be waiting then." his mother smiled and they continued watching.

It was a fun time to just sit there with his family. Would they still love him this much when they know? Would they be accepting of the baby? He didn't know. He decided to just enjoy the family bonding time and to not think about what was about to come the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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